Father and child .The father's role in parenting
Child Development / / April 14, 2016
With Dad for the company
How to attract newfound father to care for the baby?Do not be afraid to trust him as much as possible initiatives.
Now more and more dads are preparing for a meeting with the baby as well as responsible mothers.And this is a huge benefit when dad is actively involved in the family business, it helps to be more happy for him and the baby and mother!Some believe that the child is the first time need a mom, but you can do without the participation of educational Pope.But the pope is able from the outset to give the kid a lot!
- kid from the very first days of learning to form an idea of the normal pattern of family relationships.It will play an important role in his life.For example, mothers and fathers a child learns to understand the differences between the roles of men and women, what can be made of the relationship.Mom usually takes on the role of "guardian of the inner family", providing domestic well-being and peace of mind.The Pope has been "external contacts", protecting the family from the collision with the outside world.
- Very soon the child begins to feel that different people may have different ways to express love for him, this is normal and correct.When a baby feels the heat and the milk it receives from the mother, but, for example, the game - from the Pope, it helps him to better understand that the world is not limited to the mother, makes it more independent, inquisitive and active.
- As for the baby care load is distributed between several native people, this is very good not only for the child but also for the mother.Father can do many things that are not able to afford a woman after childbirth.For example, to play with the baby for a long time to wear it on your hands, bathe.The more sincerely loving and actively conscious of the people around the child, the better!
Becoming a father is not easy
Mother with toddler set biological relationship during pregnancy, but the Pope is not so simple.Therefore, almost every new father more than my mother, full of doubts about his father's qualities.
Pope rarely read magazines and books on child care, in the expectation that all the information they learn from his wife.Therefore, even during pregnancy from her husband share all that you consider important, discuss their philosophy fatherhood and motherhood!If the father to explain why you are trying to do so, and how your actions are important for the education of the heir, he will be much more tolerant of many moments like late night dinner and motives!
If the young Pope himself in his childhood lacked maternal care, he may subconsciously feel slighted, seeing the special intimacy that is established between a loving mother and baby.
Alas, sometimes the offended Pope criticizes his wife for her excessive attachment to the baby.It happens so that my mother actually gives crumbs all his time and all his strength, and Dad really feels abandoned and unnecessary violence.In such cases, the possible outbreak of discontent in relation to his wife, and even aggressive mood towards the child.
A man can develop a true postpartum depression, salvation from which it will look when leaving the house and increasingly moving away from the family.And this is fraught with corrupt relations between spouses, and a sense of guilt that will be transferred to the baby as the perpetrator of alienation.This version of events all leave the loser.
main thing - to show the Pope that he is still loved, explain that his feelings are understandable, but the kid a lot of care is needed now, because the "weak link" in the family - he, not the pope.
child is not asking for anything extra, all his needs are really necessary for the normal and harmonious development.So you need to try not to be torn between her husband and child, and do everything possible to enable the pope in caring for the baby.Then free up time for self-care, and to care for her husband.For example, while in the evening Dad playing with the child, you can ironed his shirt: a small act of caring, that will show that you care about her husband.
What exactly should not do is sacrifice Breastfeeding "in the father's favor."Some people believe that if the baby will not feed the mother of my chest, and my father from the bottle, it will contribute to their good relations.Remember, please, that this is an evolutionary feeding mothers due to the function!That kid is waiting to put it on the mother, and no one else!
Papineau participation can be expressed in another: for example, feed, mother sends crumbs dad and cuts out an hour or two for yourself.Let my father bathes the baby;wearing it on your hands when you need to burp the air or settle down.It is possible to ask her husband to bring the night, and took the baby with feedings.
Be prepared for the fact that when something will have to step aside to allow his father to find his own way to communicate with your baby.Sometimes you want to step in and do all their own way.But if you'll throw every time to save the child from the father, as a man can learn something yourself, how to establish their own relationships?
- Pope for the baby after the mother is not secondary, Dad - it is also very important person!Just different.Try to trust their mutual desire to find a contact.And this desire is always there, even if hidden under anxiety and uncertainty.
- If a kid my dad behaves restless, do not rush to pick up the crumbs, give them time to try to understand ourselves.Join only when it deems that they both really too confused and alarmed.And try to make it so that Dad's self-esteem is not damaged.Avoid statements like: "Give it to me, it is always in your capricious" - Dad will think ten times after these words, before returning to take the baby.
- Even if communication with the kid Dad, this time did not work, do not blame him, it is better say something like, "Let's go, I believe, did not want to if he eat?" And always worth emphasizing that you are very happy,if the child is with the father have found mutual understanding!
- Some children sometimes categorically do not want to talk with the pope.Reassure her husband: do not worry, do not take it to heart, everyone there are times when we do not want to talk, even with close friends.Especially since most of these kids are quite satisfied with the situation "close, but not too close": the baby happy when dad nearby.
time when the baby is happy to climb to the Pope in his hands, will surely come, and you still touched by how both of your favorite people at the same time will be satisfied!In short, paternal instincts must be developed in the practical care of her baby.And then pretty soon it will be so close to both of you, you seem simply ridiculous and meaningless words of some friends that care about a small child - not a man's job.
How to involve the Pope?Properly allocate responsibilities!
Do not probably wait until they come paternal feelings.They themselves may not come, or come when the gap between the father and mother with the baby gets too deep.It is better to Involve Dad in all things from the beginning, possibly discussing them during pregnancy.
Contact kid with parents installed already in the early hours, so much easier to find a common language with their newborn Pope, who actively participated in labor.In the first weeks after the birth father's care and support is important, and the baby, and her mother.
main principle that we must bear in mind - the husband certainly wants you and detke only good, but he can not read minds.For him there are no things that seem quite natural for many moms, it may not even be aware that the care of the child during the day is very tiring.
Of course, many of us find it hard to ask for something to her husband, especially if the woman to motherhood makes a successful career and got used to rely on its own strength.But the family - this is not the place where the woman is obliged to do everything.This partnership, and the care of the baby can be really happy, if intelligently distribute power of her husband.
Moreover, if the mother will hope for themselves, and only themselves, "as a reward," it does not get the respect and constant fatigue and resentment of her husband that he ignored!Well, my husband asked for help, do not forget to thank him and praise for their achievements.
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